Bewitched, Chapter 13

[thismaz]

I need more time in my day. One weekend away and everything spins out of control. I've given up on the idea of catching up. If I've missed any posts that you think I should see, please will you point me at them?

Title: Bewitched, Chapter 13
Pairing: S/X. I promise it will get back there... eventually.
Rating: This chapter PG-13
Summary: When Valentine's Day arrives, Dru dips her finger in the brew and gives it a stir.
Word Count: 2,670
Betaed by sparrow2000 and DJ, for which, many thanks. Thanks also to Sparrow for her help, conflabbing on plot twists and forms.
Comments: Are greatly appreciated, loved and cherished.
Disclaimer: here.

Prologue here, with a link to the other chapters, or you can find the whole thing, in reverse order, in tags, or in the correct order, in memories. There's a menu of links on the right hand side of my main journal page.



Chapter 13

There had been no cigarette butts on the ground in Xander's back yard for over a week. Xander was relieved. And nervous. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

*****

As expected, Larry caught up with Xander during lunch break. Xander was heading for the library by a roundabout route and he'd just turned the corner behind the gym when he heard footsteps running up behind him. "I heard the swim team got disbanded, man. I'm sorry," Larry said, overtaking Xander and starting to walk backwards, ahead of him.

Xander had been wondering, idly and with some amusement at the change in his status in Larry's eyes, what today's topic would be. There always seemed to be something. He also wondered if Larry would have been quite so persistent, if Xander weren't the only other gay kid in school. "Um... sure... thanks. But I wasn't really... I mean... I was only there because of what happened to Dodd and Cameron."

Larry stopped walking, forcing Xander to stop too, and shook his head indulgently. "Dude, you were there. You were so there." Xander felt a blush rise and Larry took a step closer, crowding him slightly. He took a step back and Larry took another step forward.

As he was manoeuvred by Larry's greater bulk, until his back hit the wall, Xander was struck by how, of all the times this same scene had played out, for the first time he knew that he could stop Larry by saying just one word.

"You were hot," Larry murmured.

Ducking his head to hide his blush, Xander didn't say the word. Larry stepped even closer, so they were almost touching. When one of Larry's hands came to rest on the back of his neck, Xander looked up. Larry took that one, last, small step and they were touching. They were kissing. How had that happened? Xander's arms came up of their own accord and gripped Larry's waist. Larry's other hand was on Xander's hip...

Wrenching his head back, Xander straightened his arms, pushing Larry away. "I can't do this," he gasped. Looking up into Larry's face he saw annoyance, but also some hurt. "I'm sorry." he said. "My dad... I... I'm not ready to tell the world. I can't risk him finding out."

Larry froze, his eyes fixed on Xander's face, then he shifted his weight from foot to foot, settling himself, as Xander had seen him do a thousand times on the football field, or before a fight. Xander tensed and shut his eyes, waiting for the pain.

He was jerked back to full attention when he felt Larry's hands on his shoulders. Larry looked down into Xander's eyes. "It's okay," he said. "Don't worry. I understand." He patted Xander awkwardly. The gesture was reassuring and a little patronising. "I wouldn't do that to you. Your secret's safe with me," he said as he stepped back, giving Xander some space. "Look," he added. Xander looked and he realised that Larry was really nervous - Xander-levels of nervous. He was rubbing his hands up and down the front of his thighs. "I'm, um... What I wanted to say was..." He took a deep breath and swallowed, which seemed to calm him, because although he still looked stiff, what he said next came out smoothly. "You need some space. I get that. And I've been pushing and I'm sorry. I know better than that." He studied Xander's face as if searching for something and Xander was aware that he was probably giving out all the wrong signals. Larry sighed. "Look," he said, "I'm going as a counsellor at camp over the summer. So, if you want..." He paused again and his expression softened. "Can we talk about this when I get back?" he asked.

Xander nodded mutely, not sure, yet again, what he really felt about anything. A part of him was a little ashamed of using his dad as an excuse. Another part was relieved to have the need to make a decision delayed. Larry sighed again, gave him one last wistful smile and walked away. Xander slumped against the wall and watched him until he turned the corner, before he pulled himself together, straightened up and continued on his way.

He had just pushed through the double doors into the school when he sensed another presence looming at his shoulder, although why he should feel loomed over by a girl eight inches shorter than him, he didn't know. It was probably part of the slayer package - super-duper looming powers. He looked back. "Hi Buffy," he said.

Buffy bounced to his side, her arms swinging. "Hi, yourself. Whatcha doing?"

Up ahead, Willow came out of a classroom and started walking towards them, so that they were all converging on the T-junction leading to the library. "Hey, Willow," she called.

"Hi, guys." Willow reached the corner first and waited for them. "How'd it go, Xander?" she asked when they reached her. "Are you all drug-free and guaranteed human?"

She slipped an arm through his and grinned up at him. Xander grinned back. "Yeah," he said, "totally flushed out."

"Eww! Xander!" Buffy swatted him on the shoulder in mock disgust. "TMI!"

With a bark of laughter, Xander slung his free arm around her neck, pulling her in to his side. "My blood, Buffy. They flushed my blood. Had my last plasma injection this morning. I'm headed to the library, now, to report."

"Oh, alright." She pouted up at him, pulled herself free of his hold and slipped her arm through his, so he had them one on either side of him. He felt like the ultimate playboy, as they walked along the corridor.

"Good thing you don't mind needles," Buffy said, "because the way they've been sticking you like a pincushion..."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, but I keep the ultimate purpose in mind. Turning into a creepy-crawly with personal hygiene issues wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turn twenty." Willow looked blank. "The smell," he explained. "You missed it, but can I just say, 'yuck!'? That stench... It was the worst thing ever!"

Buffy elbowed him gently in the ribs. "Um, no. I think I can honestly say that being thrown into a storm drain with a pod of sex starved mutant ninja carp, was the worst. Or should that be a shoal?" she asked, looking across him at Willow. She didn't wait for a reply. "But thankfully, you came to the rescue and hauled me out."

They had reached the library by this time and she released him to push open the doors. Xander looked at Willow. "Caffeine?" he mouthed. Willow shrugged and they followed Buffy into the library.

Xander sometimes wondered if Giles lived in the library. It was entirely possible, his recent absence notwithstanding. He was beside the check out desk, perched on a stool, writing on an index card when they arrived. Looking up, he placed the card neatly on top of a small stack of identical cards and put his pen down. "Ah, there you are," he said. "How did it go, Xander?"

"Okay. I'm done with the hospital. Gotta take a make-up chem test at three, but that's it."

Buffy sniggered. "The fun never stops with you, does it?"

Xander grimaced. "Wanna swap?" he asked. "Lead my merry life, while I do the super-slayer thing?"

Anxiously, Willow cut off Buffy's reply, turning to Giles to ask, "It's gonna work, isn't it, the treatment?"

Ushering them towards the table Giles smiled reassuringly. "I have every confidence," he said. "The toxicology lab were almost excited by the prospect. They wouldn't be so blasé, if they had any doubts." Xander and Buffy exchanged a doubtful look, but Willow seemed reassured. Giles continued, "The... people from animal control have just left. Our creatures have apparently made a dash for it. Um... so to speak."

Willow's face fell. "Does that mean we're gonna have to hunt them again?"

"No," Buffy said. "I don't think so. I don't think we'll be seeing them anymore."

His attention apparently caught by the note of certainty in her voice, Giles asked, "Why not? Where do you think they'll go?"

Buffy shrugged. "Home," she said.

When Buffy and Willow left for class, Giles went back to his stool and Xander hung around. He sat down at the table and pulled out his school books, stood up and wandered around the room, went into the book cage and started tidying away Buffy's weapons, all the while trying to figure out how to ask the question he wanted to ask.

Eventually, Giles noticed the blatant loitering. It was probably when Xander started flicking through the card index, as if he knew what he was doing. With a rueful smile, Giles left his cataloguing and sat down in one of the chairs by the table. He leant back and stretched his legs out, crossed at the ankles, seemingly settling in for the long haul. "Well?" he asked. Xander appreciated the lack of subtlety.

Closing one eye, Xander tilted his head to one side and regarded him thoughtfully. He considered his question. There was really no way of asking it, that didn't sound like he was accusing Giles of lying. Walking over to the table and taking a steadying breath, he opened his mouth and launched the words in one single burst. "Is it true what you said when we went to storm the Bronze and stop the Harvest?" he asked.

Giles' expression became slightly wary, but he didn't say anything; he merely raised an eyebrow and waited.

Narrowing his eyes, Xander hesitated. Giles wanted clarification? Okay, he could do that. Time had blunted the sharpest edges, so he could do it. "That when a person's turned, what's left isn't them, it's the monster that killed them," he explained.

"Ah." Giles sat up and leant forward, abruptly sober. "I was wondering when this would come up," he admitted. The change in his demeanour set off a light bulb in Xander's head.

Glaring at Giles, Xander accused, "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" He was both offended and flattered by the realisation. "You were teasing me."

A sheepish expression flitted across Giles' face and he shrugged. "Yes, I'm afraid I was. But I didn't realise your question was so serious. Forgive me if I appeared to make light of your dilemma."

Xander shrugged. "Not really a dilemma. More of a question. Out of curiosity." he looked at Giles expectantly. "So?" he asked.

"Okay. Well, yes, it's true. But it may not be the only truth." Giles hesitated and Xander pulled a chair out from under the table and sat down, facing him.

"A person with no soul is incapable of judging right from wrong." Giles paused. "No, that's not quite right. They are incapable of caring about what is right and what is wrong. Vampires are demons, but more importantly, they have no soul."

"If they're demons, that means they're different, different people, right? Why more importantly?" Another thought occurred to him. "Can you even have a person with no soul?"

"Oh yes. There are records in the council's archives of people born without one, of spells that can strip the soul from you and imprison it in a jar, leaving you free to do whatever occurs to you, with no concern for morality." He pursed his lips as he paused in thought. "There are also instances of humans being turned into demons, through magic, or circumstance," he added.

That was a surprise. "Yikes!" Xander said. "Gives a whole new meaning to the idea of a life changing experience. That's horrible."

"Not all demons are rampaging monsters," Giles said. "A human who becomes a demon, especially a demon with a soul, is no more evil than they were before. Some demons play very important roles in balancing the world, harmonising it. Others are simply different, and have much the same weaknesses and strengths as humans."

Xander rested his elbows on the table and considered that. "But, spells that strip out souls... People who become demons... Is this your way of saying that you don't know what happens when a vampire's turned?"

Giles gave a reluctant grimace. "In a way. It is possible that the turning process is a demonisation of the human, combined with the stripping away of the soul. It is also possible that the human dies and a demon takes up residence in their body, fully integrating so that the body is preserved, and absorbing the memories of the dead host."

"Which means that a vampire might be the same person, or they might be something totally different," Xander observed. "Which do you believe?"

Giles paused before answering. "The council teaches the second," he replied judiciously.

Nodding his recognition and acknowledgement of Giles' attempt to avoid the question, Xander pressed. "Yeah, sure, that's them. What about you?"

"I honestly don't know," Giles admitted. "I was taught, from an early age, that the host dies. It was not until I had almost completed my training that I stumbled across the alternative theory. There is very little evidence, either way, since the demon believes they are the same person. They have continuity of memory, after all."

Xander frowned. He clasped his hands together, allowed them to fall to the table top and returned to his original thought. "I think it was Jesse, you know. Really Jesse."

Realisation dawned on Giles' face and he slumped in his chair. "I'm so sorry, Xander," he said.

Xander studied his hands and shrugged. "Yeah. I know." He looked up. "But you tell Buffy that the person's gone."

Pulling off his glasses, Giles rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "There have been instances of slayer's families being targeted. It's one of the reasons that they are usually isolated. Slayers carry a huge weight on their shoulders. The decisions they make, often in the heat of battle, can decide the future of the world. There may be a debate in the more theoretical reaches of academic demonology, but on the ground the practical problems are the same, as are the solutions. I see no reason to enter into the intricacies of the arguments, for or against, while sitting in the trenches of the front line."

That made a kind of sense. "And the fish boys?" Xander asked. "Are they people who got turned in to demons?"

"Yes, I imagine they are demons of some sort. Quite possibly, now that they are in their natural element, they may even be beneficial to the harmony of the oceans, in some way." Giles pursed his lips in thought before asking, "And Spike? Has he been back?"

Taken by surprise by the sudden shift in the conversation, Xander shook his head. "You mean as my personal backyard stalker? Er, no, he seems to have given up. I haven't seen sign of him for days."

"So these questions, they weren't prompted by his reappearance?"

"No way!" Xander exclaimed. "I was just curious."

Gules nodded, smiling. "I'm glad, Xander. For a while I was worried about you."

"Worried?"

"Yes." He shrugged. "I'll admit, it seems stupid now, but for a while, I was a little concerned that I had failed to completely break the spell. Every time I thought I had reached the end of it, there seemed to be still more. I was afraid that there was still some influence at work."

Xander flashed back in his mind to the kiss with Larry. It had felt odd, but kind of nice. Not quite like kissing Cordy, but that was partly because Larry was taller than him, and not like kissing Spike, either. Kissing Spike had been strange, powerful and very sexy, but that had been the spell at work. Not that it was ever going to happen, but Xander was willing to bet that if he ever got kissed by Spike again, it would be a disappointment. "You don't have to worry about that," he said.


Next Chapter

Some bits of dialogue borrowed courtesy of http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/

Comments

[delectiscent.livejournal.com]

I adore Larry's slow and considerate wooing of Xander in this story.

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

Hm. This fic continues to grow more intriguing every time I read it. I love that you have Xander questioning everything he knows and being confronted with some rather startling truths.

Not quite like kissing Cordy, but that was partly because Larry was taller than him, and not like kissing Spike, either. Kissing Spike had been strange, powerful and very sexy, but that had been the spell at work. Not that it was ever going to happen, but Xander was willing to bet that if he ever got kissed by Spike again, it would be a disappointment.

Somehow, Xander I don't think that is quite true. Then again, who knows what will happen in the future?

BTW, this fic looks like it going on way past S2. I look forward to seeing where you go with it.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Larry became a much nicer person when he stopped trying to defend his heterosexuality. *g* And Xander *is* the only other gay kid in school. Larry doesn't want to mess it up.
Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you like Larry. I do too.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Intriguing is good. Thank you.
I always have trouble making Xander do what I want him to do, which, I guess is why my plans for a nice short story with four or five chapters, always come unstuck. *g*
who knows what will happen in the future?
Well, I have made a promise in the header. Xander is just plying hard to get, as usual. *thinks* As is Spike, actually.
Yes, I have given up on the idea that I can come to a conclusion within the confines season two. It will go beyond.
Thank you for your lovely comment. I'm glad you are still enjoying it.

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

I know I mentioned it before but in this case I love to repeat myself: I do love this fic!! With every chapter I love it more and more and I can't wait for the next update. Your Xander is so wonderful and thoughtfully and I think Xander would loose this bet. Thanks for the great update.

[knitty-woman.livejournal.com]

Nice - I like Larry here. And I like Xander and Giles' conversation about souls. Giles is such a great character in canon because he really does get, despite his protestations to Buffy, that things are never black and white.

[missus-grace.livejournal.com]

I love these Xander & Giles moments. Xander needs a father figure so badly.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Larry is a sweetie here. If he's out and acting this nice, maybe that will encourage the other gay kids to come out, too. But for now, I'm glad that Larry is encouraging Xander and giving Xander space. I really do think Xander needs to sort this out before sorting out his Spike issues.

[sparrow2000.livejournal.com]

This reads so nicely. As I said before, I really like Xander's interactions with both Larry and Giles. I loved that Larry thought Xander was 'hot' and I especially loved Giles' gentle teasing, it reminds us again that he's a person, not just an adult.

Can't wait to get my paws on the next chapter ;)

[strickens-girl.livejournal.com]

I like that Giles is being honest with Xander in this part. And Larry is so darned cute! Looking forward to more.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I kind of feel sorry for Larry. He's actually interested and you're showing him here wrong footed and uncertain. I just ache for his vulnerability.

I always find the soul debate fascinating. I think it's one of the greatest aspects of the Buffy fandom, how it causes so many discussions of the nature of a soul.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I've got a huge smile on my face, right now.
I think you might be right. *thinks* You have to be right, or I'm lying in the header. *g*

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Giles is interesting in season two because at that point, I think, he can be written as either believing rigidly black and white, or as recognising the shades of grey. He made some pretty definite statements in the early seasons, that were later contradicted as the writers developed the rules of the world.
I always have a problem writing him as closed minded, because of the way he is in later seasons. Hmm, maybe I should think about doing it though, just because it would be a stretch.
Thank you for reading and for your comment. I am glad you are enjoying it.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

He does, doesn't he? It was a relationship that always seemed to be underdeveloped on screen, to me, but which I thought had to be there, because of the baseline way they interacted in later seasons.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked that.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Xander still needs to sort a few things out and Larry sort of surprised me by how he behaved in this chapter *g* but he did become a much nicer person, once he came out.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. You know the shot that was in my mind when Larry was thinking about Xander on the swim team *g* As for Giles, his flashes of humour always made him more interesting to me. I hope to have the next chapter for you, soon.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

It is interesting, how Giles and Xander's relationship has developed much further than I originally intended, in this story. Xander was more persistent than in canon, and Giles was more willing.
Larry has also become more than I originally planned. *g* I love it when the characters take over and start demanding their voices.
Thank you. I'm so glad you are enjoying it, still.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Larry might have been the big bad football player, he might even have been a happier person for admitting he was gay, but he still had no experience of dating when out, so he was running on bluff and front in this exchange. He's only a few weeks ahead of Xander in admitting that he is gay. Such things would make anyone feel vulnerable. I think they are both finding their way, at this point.
The soul debate is fascinating, since it raises all sorts of questions about what it is that makes us human. This argument is not my usual take, so it was interesting trying to work it through, using the AtS references.

[melanie2525.livejournal.com]

Wonderful new chapter. Loved the interaction between Larry and Xander, and yes, I agree with the others, Larry was a much nicer person and really came into his own. Great installment.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. Larry is one of those characters who I would have loved to have seen developed. He did have more to him than just being a jock, as was hinted at in the Bizarro-world episode. Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you are still enjoying it.

[laazikaat.livejournal.com]

I love the way this story is growing. I'm always happy to see another chapter waiting for me.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

I'd better go and finish chapter 14 then, hadn't I? Thank you, hon. I'm so pleased that you are still enjoying it.

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

Larry being all forceful and getting in Xander's personal space made me concerned he was going to force Xander into something, but then he complimented Xander and the touching became electric and they were both kissing. Xander not wanting to jump into something makes sense. This is all new, and until a little while ago Larry was gleefully bullying Xander. Just because they're the only gay boys in school is no reason to start dating.

I enjoyed Xander actually asking the right questions in the conversation with Giles. They're both thoughtful and in voice, and Giles is right that there's a necessity to the slayer's black and white world view. In the heat of battle, she has to depend on instinct. There's no time to question each demon that she's fighting. I loved the way this conversation played out, and Giles' concern that it stemmed from some new move of Spike's, or Xander's feelings for Spike. Xander's absolutely, positively sure that's not the case. Silly boy.

This gave me a grin: Kissing Spike had been strange, powerful and very sexy, but that had been the spell at work. Not that it was ever going to happen, but Xander was willing to bet that if he ever got kissed by Spike again, it would be a disappointment. Oh, Xander, I can't wait for you to test that theory!

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Larry's and Xander's history is not the best, that's for sure. Larry's realisation that he had been engaging in displacement behaviour doesn't change that, except in his own mind *g*
I so pleased that the Xander-Giles conversation was in voice. Xander had been thinking about this for a long time, but I think it was not until his relationship with Giles developed as it has done, that he could ask.
As for what Xander believes about Spike and his reaction to him *laughs* As you say, silly boy. It might be a while before he gets to rest that theory, though.
Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful comment.

[smwright.livejournal.com]

Again, lovely weaving of your story and canon. Giles is just so... politic... while still being concerned for his charges. *g* He is as atypical a Watcher as Buffy is a Slayer. I suppose that's why they were meant to be together.

This works very well as a bridge between "before" and "to come" but I must admit a certain trepidation at "to come." Ah... on to it then!

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

*grins* Giles has learnt that there is more to the world than is encompassed by Watcher philosophy and he has grown into that, under the influence of all three scoobies, not just Buffy. It does make him far more human than people like Travers, who are caught up in the politics of being a watcher.
Thank you.

[mrs-sakuma.livejournal.com]

ack! the scene between xan and larry was cute. i am a bit partial to them in some circumstances. however, what i'd really like to address is this line:

"...but Xander was willing to bet that if he ever got kissed by Spike again, it would be a disappointment."

xannie, everything that /happened/ was real! (most) everything you /felt/ was real! the prompting came from something fabricated, but the outcome was /real/.

and besides all that, kissing spike would /NEVER/ be a disappointment! i mean, it's SPIKE!

...yeah. great chapter.~

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

I've never written Larry before, so it was interesting doing that, but I always did have a soft spot for post coming-out Larry. He turned into a good guy, once he stopped the denial. Writing him in pursuit of Xander and being patient and understanding, was a whole lot of fun.
As for Xander... *g* Well, he's mega embarrassed... he caused all the women in Sunnydale to go crazy... he had sex for the first time... he had first-time sex with a male vampire... yes, *nods* he's in denial.
You, on the other hand, are so right. He's just not ready to see it.
Thank you for the lovely comments along the way, as you have been reading this story.