Prompt 99 - Too much truth - BtVS

[thismaz]

 Title: Too much truth
 Fandom: BtVS
 Prompt: 99 - Clamp
 At: tamingthemuse
 Rating: Older Teen/Adult
 Summary: Part 38 of the ice cream 'verse. Set during the summer before season 1, Xander's life is changed radically when vampires invade it. In the meantime Angel and Spike have their own, separate agendas.
 Word Count: 2,075
 Comments: Are greatly appreciated, loved and cherished.
 Some dialogue borrowed courtesy of http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/
 Previous parts: In reverse order, in tags here, in my memories.
 Or, starting here with links to the next, at the end of each chapter.
 Disclaimer: here.
Now beta'd by the wonderful laazikaat

Warning (highlight the white area to see the warning text):

Vamp Xander story

dark_amia made a wall paper and she turned it into a banner for me. Lookee here -

Isn't it pretty?

38. Too much truth

Giles didn't slow down until they were back near the town centre and he was reasonably certain that the trio of vampires had not followed them, but eventually he had to stop. Bending over and resting his hands on his knees, he concentrated for a few moments on simply breathing. Really! He'd become soft over the last few years, working in research and support. If he was going to train the slayer, he'd need to get himself fitter than he was now. The old guard may not think that hands-on involvement in the training was necessary, but the casualty rate for the active watchers had always been high. Dolce et decorum est, or not, unlike poor Merrick Jamison-Smythe, Giles intended to live long enough to retire! Standing up and drawing a last few, deep, panting breaths he shook his head and ruefully acknowledged that rushing into the middle of a vampire attack, before his slayer had even arrived, was hardly setting a good precedent towards achieving that ambition. However, what else could he have done? Living on a hellmouth was obviously going to result in encounters with vampires, and he was sworn to protect, as much as the slayer was chosen to do the same.

Suddenly, he felt the weight of his secret lie heavy on his shoulders and loneliness threatened, but he clamped down ruthlessly on the moment of weakness. He couldn't afford it! At home, surrounded by other watchers in the familiar surroundings of the Council headquarters, it was easy to discuss warding techniques and theorise about decapitation and staking over a glass of port in the members' dining room. But here, alone on the hellmouth, the adrenaline starting to fade from his system, he realised that even a lifetime of study was no preparation for the real thing. Nothing was, not even the worst of his misspent youth. If all active postings were as eventful as this it was no wonder so many died on their first tour of duty. He'd write to Travers, he determined; young watchers needed exposure to the things they might have to face in the field.

With that decided he cast a careful eye around the immediate area to check where they were and that nothing threatened. In the meantime, he had a child to get safely to her home, if she'd allow him to escort her. They were approximately equidistant from his flat and the school. Thankfully, nowhere in Sunnydale was very far from anywhere else.

Turning around to face her, he studied her properly for the first time. She looked miserable, her hair wild and disordered, hugging her arms around her meagre chest, and so very young. Hopefully she'd accept the recommended cover story, he'd get her home and she'd be more careful in future for this fright. He opened his mouth, but at that moment she looked up and caught his eye. "Why did I run?" she asked. There was a maturity to the question that took Giles by surprise and he hesitated, loosing the opportunity to lie as she continued more firmly, "What was wrong with their faces? Why were they acting so strange?"

Thinking fast, Giles stumbled over his words as his intended answer was replaced by a need to discover more of her involvement. He'd assumed she was a random target, an unfortunate who was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. "You, you thought you knew them?" he asked.

All at once she appeared angry. "Of course I know them! That was Xander! And Jesse!" She looked back up the street, the way they'd run. "I lost my bag," she observed. Then, returning to the question at hand, "I've known them all my life. I don't know who the other one was. But, but something's wrong." In spite of the fact that her voice had been firm when she started speaking, it became progressively more bewildered. "They... they weren't acting like... like themselves." She turned on Giles, angry again. "And you said you'd explain. So explain! Right now! Because none of this is making..." She stopped abruptly and Giles got the distinct impression that she'd just shocked herself, talking to an adult like that. Instead she just gazed at him beseechingly.

This was not what he wanted. Taking care to avoid involving civilians was one of the first lessons all watchers were taught. It was elementary. So why was he having such trouble concocting a plausible story that would send her on her way? Perhaps it was the fact that she'd known the vampires' human hosts, before they were turned. "When did you last see them?" he asked instead.

She paused and her mouth drooped. "Um... three weeks ago? Er, maybe four?" She looked guilty and Giles' curiosity was piqued. Although certainly human, and apparently ignorant of what had happened to her friends, was she still somehow involved? Her next words dispelled that suspicion. "I was busy," she explained, her voice both defensive and defiant, and she looked him straight in the eye for a moment. "I got a new computer and I was learning how to work it and I didn't..." As her voice petered out again, she dropped her gaze to her feet. "When I called Xander, no one answered, but I just thought he was out," she mumbled. "But then, yesterday, the police came around and told me... they told me..." Miserably, she looked back up at him. "They told me Xander's parents had been found dead. Murdered. And I called Jesse and his mom said he'd run away and they didn't know where he was. And I was going round there, just now, and I couldn't believe it when I saw them both and I thought... I thought..." She took a deep, gulping breath. "But their faces... "

Again she stopped and Giles sighed. He couldn't leave her in ignorance. Looking around he spotted a bench about a hundred yards away, in front of the memorial gardens. "Let's go and sit down?" he suggested. "We'll be safe enough on a busy road like this." His hand hesitated above her shoulder, but he didn't know her well enough to offer sympathy. Not to mention the fact that he was more than old enough to be her father.

Together they walked to the bench and sat. Giles twisted slightly to face her as she huddled in her corner, her hands gripped between her knees. For one more moment Giles hesitated, but she looked up at him from beneath her hair, her eyes wide with confusion and he couldn't do it. He couldn't lie. If she refused to believe him, if she ran screaming, or laughing, from his company, he'd simply have to shrug and carry on. "They were vampires," he said.

Her eyes got even wider and for a moment he thought she'd stopped breathing. "Vampires?" she whispered.

At least she hadn't run, but she didn't look convinced either. "Er, yes, vampires." Still uncertain, for some reason her reaction engendered in him an overwhelming need to convince. "This whole area is a centre of mystical energy," he explained. "The Spanish who first settled here called it 'Boca del Infierno'. Roughly translated: Hellmouth. It's a sort of, um, a portal between this reality and the next. And things gravitate towards it that, that you might not find elsewhere."

"Things like vampires?"

"Yes."

She looked away and gazed off into space, her face blank and Giles sat watching her, waiting for her judgement. When she did eventually speak, it was nothing that he expected. "That's why I ran," she said, her voice wondering. "I knew there was something wrong. I've always known." Turning back to him she asked, "Can we save them?"

The naiveté of the question shocked him and brought him to his senses. What was he doing? This was a child he was talking to. Turning away from her, he took off his glasses, rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head, scrubbing his palms up his cheeks and rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. What had he done? This was his fight. His and his slayer's. The rules against civilians existed for very good reasons and he had just been brought up hard against one of them. He'd never have told an adult, neither man nor woman, about the hellmouth. Telling a child was criminal. Sighing, he raised his head and looked across at her, weary beyond measure. "No," he said. "They can't be saved. Your friends are dead. And if you stay near me, you will be too." Hauling himself to his feet, he looked down at her. "Let me get you home," he offered. "Your parents will be worried about you."

She opened her mouth to say something in reply, but stopped and nodded. "Okay," she agreed.

They'd been walking for about five minutes, avoiding by common consent the street where they'd met the vampires although Giles was certain they would no longer be in the area, when she broke the silence. "Are the stories true?" she asked.

"Which stories?"

"The stories about vampires. The ones in books and movies."

"Some of them." Giles paused and thought about the books he'd read as a young man and films he'd seen. "Not all of them."

"But they do kill people? And drink their blood?"

"Yes, those parts are true."

"I need to know more."

"No you don't." He felt certain of that now. "All you need to do is be careful after dark. Don't go out alone!"

She stopped and turned to face him. "No!" she said. "I could have been killed! By my best friends! I am not going to go back to pretending that there's nothing wrong here! I can't!" Recognising his determination, she got a stubborn expression of her own. "If you won't tell me, I'll go looking for answers," she threatened and there was something about her that convinced Giles she was deadly serious. Deadly being the operative word.

Taking off his specs, he rubbed at the bridge of his nose while he tried to find an answer that would satisfy her and not place her in greater danger than he already had. He came up blank. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his handkerchief and gave the glasses a polish before putting them back on. Her expression hadn't shifted, she still looked totally determined. Sighing, he capitulated. "Very well. I'd give you my address, but... "

Smiling now, although it was not a happy smile, she interrupted, "But my parents would freak if they knew I went to a man's house alone."

In spite of the seriousness of their discussion, Giles felt the corners of his own mouth tug up in a reluctant half smile of his own. "Oh dear," he said. "I really haven't thought this though properly. Soon I'll have another young woman around..." He ignored her questioning eyebrow, staying with the point under discussion. There was time enough to explain about the slayer, later. "You're right. I think the library might be a more suitable spot. Do you know Sunnydale High School?"

"Yes, of course. I'm going to be a student there, in the fall."

Giles blinked. "Oh my goodness. Are you? How very, um, well. Er, time for introductions, I suppose. I'm Mr. Giles. The school librarian."

"Willow Rosenberg," she replied, holding out her hand.

Gravely, they shook. "You can come over tomorrow, if you like?" he suggested. "I have keys and I'll leave the door open." A thought struck him. "Oh dear. Do you think I should find someone to act as chaperone? Although, I'm not exactly sure who..."

Willow grinned. "Don't worry, my parents won't mind the library."

"Oh. Alright then. Well, I'm busy putting away the new books, so we'll have plenty to do as we talk." Bending a stern gaze upon her, for all the good he suspected it would do, he added, "Just be certain to only come over during daylight hours."

Willow nodded her agreement to that stipulation and turned to point out the street they needed to take, to reach her home. Five minutes later Giles stood on the pavement and watched until she had unlocked the door and entered the house, before he turned back towards his own flat. Somehow, he doubted that his tenure on the hellmouth was going to be a normal watcher's assignment, if such a beast existed.


Note: Giles' Latin quote is part of a line from the Roman poet Horace - Dolce et decorum est pro patria mori - it translates as 'it is sweet and right to die for your country' and was made famous to non-classic scholars by the First World War poet Wilfred Owen in his poem about a man dying in a gas attack, where it was described as 'the old lie'.

Continued here.

Comments

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

That's the Willow I know and love before she gets all witchy and bitchy and weird. I really am looking forward to seeing these two book geeks get to know each other without Buffy in the middle.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so pleased that sounds like Willow to you. I agree with you about the 'know and love' bit, she was such an innocent back then. Yes, I think I'll need to follow them a bit more, before this ends.
Thanks hon.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

She was an innocent... but it seems like the more evil she saw, the more desperately she tried to hang on to everything and everyone. I think she was probably the least mentally healthy of all of them (excepting Angel of course... he's kinda the definition of mentally screwy)

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

it seems like the more evil she saw, the more desperately she tried to hang on to everything and everyone.
I think you are so right. That's my reading of her character too, mixed with a large dose of self-deception about consequences.
he's kinda the definition of mentally screwy
*laughs* True, although maybe not as bad as I'm painting him here.

[sparrow2000.livejournal.com]

Very nice look at Giles waking up to the differences between the theory and the practice of being a field Watcher. I can just imagine Travers reading his letter and then throwing it in the bin as he pours himself another cognac.

I can see this Willow pre season 1 - so curious with her clever, quick brain conflicting with her need to be respectful to authority figures. Also seeing the seeds of her self justification which would become such a large part of her character in years to come was fascinating.

Excellent and very plausible alternative look at how the threads at the start of S1 might have come together.

Very nice use of 'Dulce et decorum est'. It takes me back to 0 Grade English classes, dissecting Owen's poetry. I always liked (if liked is the right word) Anthem for Doomed Youth. In fact the first line "What passing bells for these who die as cattle" could apply to the populace of the Hellmouth as well as the trenches. Although I don't think my English teacher would have been happy if I'd said so in an essay *g*

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

*g* I was imagining Wesley's chagrin, if he'd realised that his boast about how 'training procedures have been updated' with 'much greater emphasis on field work' was due to Giles all along. *g*. I had this lovely picture of what Giles' could have said in response to him saying 'not all books and theory nowadays. I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course' I think it would have been devastatingly understated and dry.

seeing the seeds of her self justification
I am so glad that came through. Thanks hon.

Yeah, I studies the war poets for 'O'level, too. I think they made that a set text every other year. *g*
My goodness, yes, you are right about that quote fitting. I will have to go read that poem again.

Thank you for the lovely comment.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

A Giles centric chapter, yeah! Giles doesn't even have his slayer yet and he's already seeing the flaws in the Council system and breaking the rules when they don't make sense. Very much enjoying this version. I wonder what he told Liam? It would be hard to give him a convincing lie.

Willow seems surprisingly undevastated by the news her two best friends are dead. I wonder if she still thinks she can save them somehow? Love the flashes of early Willow as she shocks herself at talking back to an adult.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

*g* I sort of see Giles as a convert to the Watcher's Council, after his youthful abandonment of it. As if his relationship with it was a bit like the relationship some people have with religion - brought up in it from a child, lapsing away in his teens, but returning later. And having gone back, he had to accept everything they taught. *g* But once a rebel, always a rebel at heart.
I could continue the metaphor to the end of the series, but I'll refrain.

I wonder if she still thinks she can save them somehow?
Yeah, I think she accepted that assurance too easily. But she made sure she had a way to find out more.

I'm so pleased you liked her. I really liked early Willow. Thank you.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

Are you reading Hepcat's current story, it addresses this very aspect of Giles. I bet you would like it.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

No, I'm not *goes to look* Are you talking about 'House of Women'? Neep! It's got 84 chapters, so far, and looks like it is the latest in a series.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

Yep, House of Women, which is part of a much larger series but could be read alone. The chapters are really short.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Right, well, thanks very much for the rec. I'll go take a closer look and add it to my 'to read' list. I do love getting personal recs. They are much less of a gamble than the ones you just see scattered around.

[laazikaat.livejournal.com]

Excellent chapter, I love early Willow. She went downhill when Oz left her, I don't think she ever recovered. After that she needed control, power, to be able to stop things changing.

Loved seeing Giles trying to follow council rules out in the field, and seeing how they needed to flex a bit.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon. Yes, when Oz left she experienced her first real heartbreak and did that 'my will be done' spell. That was like the door opening a first chink, wasn't it? On top of the boost to her self esteem from realising that, at university, she was more at home than Buffy... Hmm, yeah, you're right, that was the first overt sign of darkness ahead.
*g* Poor Giles. He really wants to be a good watcher, now that he's committed himself to it, but he's certainly not stupid and he's learning as he goes along.
Thank you hon, for the lovely comment

[smwright.livejournal.com]

Yes, those parts are true. *chuckles* There's Giles peeking at us. I do love him.

And this Willow is just as fresh as a peach. I could almost pluck her, and indeed Xander almost did! One thing I enjoyed from the beginning with Willow was that, even though her character morphed, she entered the series three-dimensional, whereas I always felt the others were truer to the standard 2D comic-book heroes they were created to be. Willow was always complex, and you really bring that out here. Though she is only what she is, there is the hint of so much more.

I loved Giles' minor worry over the propriety of 'young women' needing to be with him alone, the Slayer particularly. I recall, in S1, the scene at the Bronze where he's standing behind her with his hands on either side of hers, and he's bending over her. I thought even then, "That would never happen." It's nice to see him thinking here about these things! (This brings up another thought I had about S2, but I'm getting too wordy...)

I'll just say well done!

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

There's Giles peeking at us
Thank you. I was a bit concerned I'd over done him, in spite of this being Giles at his most tweedy.
And I'm so glad you like my Willow. Writing fanfic after the end of the series is great, because you can draw on all the stuff that doesn't manifest until later.
the scene at the Bronze where he's standing behind her with his hands on either side of hers
You know I'm a geek, right? You know I'm a stickler for knowing canon and for detail? I just went and checked that scene. I'm not sure you're right. *g* Will email, to prevent this getting too long.
What was your other thought? *is curious*
Thank you so much for the lovely comment.

[smwright.livejournal.com]

You're right about the specifics of the S1 scene, of course. I think what had struck me about that one was 1) his close proximity and 2) his whispering to her. *shrugs* Either way, I don't see a contemporary school teacher doing that at her age, not one of the opposite sex at any rate. *g*

RE: S2, can you believe I can't remember now? Damn! It will come back to me, and I'll let you know as soon as it does.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

I don't see a contemporary school teacher doing that at her age, not one of the opposite sex at any rate.
*grin* I think you're right. That would be 1997 though. Hmmm, would it have been possible then, I wonder.

[smwright.livejournal.com]

I've tried to think about this. Jeff was just teaching a few years then (in an American high school). I think he could have, but only a couple times. Then, it would have been talked about, pointed out to him, fingers wagged, that sort of thing.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

That makes sense, thanks. Yet when Miss French, the preying mantis teacher, did the same sort of thing to Xander, in the school environment in the same season, it was definitely portrayed as 'over the line'. Interesting.

[smwright.livejournal.com]

Yes! That's right. Good analogy. *smiles* Happy now.

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

*smiles back at you*

[bumpkin-is.livejournal.com]

Well, I just read all of this today - couldn't stop reading actually, I was totally sucked in. I guess you can say I was fascinated and enthralled - good job for a vampire story eh. *g*

Really looking forward to whenever you post some more of this, and I think I am going to friend you to make sure I don't miss any new installments too if you don't mind.

keep penning,
Marns
~pN

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I think you've just made my morning. To be told that you've just read 38 chapters of a story, because you couldn't stop, is absolutely wonderful.
I usually post on Saturdays, but I'm going away this week end so am a day early. And it is a weekly post, in response to a weekly prompt.
Of course I don't mind you friending, please, friend away *g* Thank you.

And you make me realise I forgot to put the link to the next chapter on this one. Thanks for that too. I'll go do that now. (Grrr for breaks in routine *g*)